five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize