whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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