Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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