Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
