Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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