What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
