Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
