News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
