Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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