they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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