in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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