Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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