The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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