My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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