the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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