Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
