They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Drake has all the answers
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
