he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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