also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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