On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She even gives head with a lisp.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
