just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am available for nakedness
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
