Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
