did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
