Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
