Christians are straight up FREAKS
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
