Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
