I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
