we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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