You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
