ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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