I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
