Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
