If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
