they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
