Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
