? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
