The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize