Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
