She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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