I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
