Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
