Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize