I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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