Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
