Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
