You work out of a Hotel?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
oh god was she eating orange peels again
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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