i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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