Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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