as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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