You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
