pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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