Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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