I want to stick my p in your. b.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
